Thank you for the question, and your reduction of the facts was extremely helpful. You are right in that the Government will not directly pay the ex spouse if you have not met the 10/10 rule, which means that you have to pay her directly, and that this money must thus be paid by you to your ex. It is important to remember that retirement funds are included in your property division, and they are considered an asset. In order to change the division of property, you must file an order with the court for a modification, but this isn't always in your best interest. My recommendation is that you speak with an attorney whom is qualified in military divorces and tell them the entirety of the facts as they apply to you. Every situation is different, and a qualified attorney will be able to assist you with making the best choice for you.