I have a male friend wanting to get a divorce. Everytime he discusses wanting to leave, his wife threatens him with the kids saying she will have them in the divorce. How can he go about filing and feeling “safe” about it?

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He has the kids a better portion of the time (His time off work-evenings and whatever weekend time). She constantly complains she cant handle the kids. She belittles him, his parenting, his job, just everything about him. She has major control issues and says “she will agree to the divorce but wants to know where he is at and who he is with”…..(after divorce)

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Posted by MG
Asked on March 1, 2016 5:52 pm
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Thanks MG, great question. Your friend needs to speak with a lawyer to go over the facts of his case but he might need encouragement to get there. Thus, the encouragement you might provide him is that Courts cannot allocate parenting time based solely upon gender. The Court may look to each parent’s historical involvement and if one parent is lacking, they may have lesser time but certainly they would not be excluded from having a substantial parenting schedule with equal rights and responsibilities to his spouse. Even if he’s a little behind his spouse on time investment with the kids but there is no time like the present to re-engage as a parent. He should also look forward to having substantial time with the kids. Not only substantial time but time that his wife cannot manage or control the activities he chooses for the children. Separation can be very healthy and liberating for both he and the kids. Short of legitimate safety issues with an individual’s personal ability to parent independently, dads are not short-changed on parenting time these days. It will help to look at practical parenting plans for his unique situations and set of facts; an attorney can help him with that. The attorneys here at R&H regularly assist people and families with assessments of potential parenting plans during our no-risk consultations. Since I am a lawyer, I cannot advise both sides but if he hears something that he likes, he can certainly share it with his spouse and/or ask our firm to assist with reaching his goals for parenting time through organized divorce proceedings.

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Posted by James Garts (Questions: 0, Answers: 0)
Answered on March 1, 2016 6:11 pm